— Mark Twain
My life used to feel like it meant something. Maybe it was just because I was so busy with school, work, and friends, or because I was working towards something. But now, with all of my past friends gone and living their own exceptional lives and with my only focus being my mindless desk job, I can’t but feel like something is missing. I feel so deeply alone and as if nothing I do means anything anymore. I’m living just to breath, and I am in it alone. Sometimes it feels like my chest is caving in. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with a terribly bad feeling. It feels like there’s nothing I can do about it. I feel stuck in a state of fear, nothingness and loneliness. I have no friends, I am growing increasignly insecure about my appearance, and I am not nearly as successful as so many people that I know, despite my efforts. I am doing all I can just to survive, but I guess its not enough. I am just not good enough.
Photos taken by me.
You can see more on flickr.com/photos/alexzinwonderland
The Story I Heard: Blind Pilot
"The story I heard is that people are bored."
Photos taken by me, for the style blog sirenadistile.com
You can see more on my flickr, http://www.flickr.com/photos/alexzinwonderland/
Anonymous asked: Do you really read what people write? Do you sometimes feel like you don't want to respond publicly? Is it strange to have this kind of interface with anonymous people?
I always read what people write. Sometimes it can be hard to respond publicly, depending on what people say, but I try to be as open as honest as I can be given the situation. I just wish people trusted me more to give themselves a face, especially since I do in my responses-it makes for an uneven conversation.
Anonymous asked: I have to get a freakin job now. I don't even know what I like, or where I want to end up…I know what I studied in college was supposed to guide me or something. But it didn't. now I feel so stuck. I've been out of school for a while and I can feel the pressure from family, and myself, watching friends do well. I am ashamed to ask them for help in finding work. I feel like they already know I need help, and don't want to take a chance helping me. just sayin Im impressed by you. you are brave
The thing is, most young people don’t know what they like or what they want to do at first. I know it may not seem that way, but most people are just putting on a show because they want to seem normal amongst a whole lot of other people who are really just putting on a show themselves. Its okay to be stuck and its okay to be a little confused and unsure. You shouldn’t be impressed by me, or unimpressed with yourself-situations are different and we all do what we need to in order to get by. Although if you need a job and need a little direction, maybe you could try working with a placement agency like I did. They got me a temporary position, which gave me valuable work experience and a better idea of what direction I wanted to head in. You should consider giving it a go!
Obviously, I suck and I have gotten so caught up in being a boring adult that I have been totally disregarding my Tumblr. I pinky-promise thas will cease as of now. I hope I still have some loyal followers out there!
Riptide: Vance Joy
"Lady, running down to the riptide
Taken away to the dark side
I wanna be your left hand man
I love you when you’re singing that song and
I got a lump in my throat because
You’re gonna sing the words wrong”
Oh hey, I graduate from college tomorrow. No big deal.
All taken by me, from back in February. I never got around to editing them, so these are unedited. Please credit if you reblog, per usual.
I don’t understand what I have done to deserve such silence, and I don’t understand how you could claim to care so much about me, yet treat me and my time with such little respect. There’s a reason why I don’t trust anyone and there’s a reason why I find it so hard not to hate myself sometimes, and it’s because of people like you.
The greatest movie ever made.
— John Steinbeck